![]() ![]() Remember, time-outs don’t work without time-ins. Pretty soon, your tot will recognize exactly when you’re serious and give in before you get to three. Use the same tone of voice, stern face, and counting speed each time. Do time-out the same way every time.Ĭonsistency helps kids learn. At bedtime, reinforce the lesson by telling a fairy tale about a little bunny who misbehaved and what happened to him. Next time, I hope we can play instead of you needing a time-out.” Later in the day, talk to your tot about what happened and gossip to their toys about the incident (and the lesson you want him to learn). Many kids need to sulk a little after being punished.Īwhile after a time-out, express your regret for having had to do it. If they’re still mad, connect with respect, but then let them be on their own. It’s time to let go of your anger and allow your heart to forgive. Just join them in some play or give a bit of attention. Once the fit is over and your child is free to go, don’t talk about the time-out for 30 minutes or so. (“Okay, you can stay if you want, but the time-out is over.”) If they are still carrying on, acknowledge that they are very angry and that it sounds like they need some extra time-out to find their calm. I like to ask, “Are you ready to come out now?” Even if they say, “No!” I open the door, as long as they’re not still tantrumming. When the time’s up, let your child go free. ![]() It can spur your child to resist your limits even more the next time. Saying, “You’re bad! You need a time-out!” makes some tots feel worthless and others burn with resentment. Our emotional reaction can accidentally backfire and make our uncivilized little friends feel “challenged to fight,” causing them to respond with primitive fury. Don’t be emotional during time-out.Īdults who get upset when they do time-outs may make kids protest and fight even more. The time for your explanations and being friends again will come later. The less you say, the more your child’s stressed-out brain will be able to hear. This is super-important! Once you start counting, stay calm and neutral. Dinger.”) Don’t say much when you give a time-out. ![]() It allows your child to hear when the time-out is over, and it also gives you a good answer when they ask to come out. I recommend that you always use the timer. Dinger goes “ring-ring.” Make the time-out last one minute per year of age.Ī time-out for your 1-year-old would be one minute, two minutes for your 2-year-old, etc. Explain that Mommy will let them out of their room when Mr. Dinger” and let them hear what it sounds like. Timers are great to let both you and your child know when the time-out is over. Buy a timer with a loud ring to use during time-out. But I find that for most toddlers, especially spirited ones, this can turn the time-out into a power struggle. Some parents choose to sit their toddlers on their laps and hold them firmly during time-out. Of course, you must make sure there are no breakables, hard surfaces, or sharp corners in the time-out place. But young ones, and feisty toddlers of all ages, usually need to be confined-in a playpen if they are under age 2, or gated into their bedroom if they are over age 2. Pick your time-out place ahead of time.Ī chair or bottom step may work with some tots. However, if they go right back to banging the window, calmly count to three and do a regular time-out. You just want them to see that ignoring you will lead to a moment of isolation for them. ![]() Then say, “No hitting windows!” and walk away-with the door wide open.ĭon’t worry about making your tyke stay put. ” If they still refuse, quietly take their hand and lead them to another room. Give me the toy.” If they refuse, count: “One. Say, “No! No! Windows are not for hitting. Imagine your child is hitting the window with a toy. The first few times you use this approach just move your child to the next room. Delaying the time-out even five minutes only weakens your message and encourages your tot to push the limits even harder. The best time to teach discipline is right when the misbehavior is happening. Here are some tips to help time-out go well. Most of us feel awkward when we do something new (like the first time we fed or bathed our baby). But for some parents, the idea of giving a time-out makes them nervous. Time-outs are a take-charge discipline tactic that can help put a stop to aggressive toddler behavior, like hitting and biting. ![]()
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